Weapon System 13: The Eccentric Family (2)

After three days, both Zhang Yidao and Xiao Nüxia had unblocked their Great and Small Celestial Circuits as well as their Ren and Du meridians. Not only were they full of energy all day long, but their inner strength increased steadily, making it seem as if the two had suddenly activated some secret cheat code! Only now did their grand ambitions begin to sprout; just yesterday, they started diligently practicing martial arts routines downloaded from the internet.

With their extraordinary meridians now clear, their practice was simply explosive; never mind whether their moves were standard or not, each one brimmed with true internal force. It was as if, before long, the two of them would become top masters in the martial world!

“It looks like you two are finally getting along. Are you trying to become the modern-day Condor Heroes?” Zhang Mingjing teased with a laugh.

Zhang Yidao replied without missing a beat, “Not the Condor Heroes, but rather an immortal couple.”

“Pfft!”

Yesterday, their homeroom teacher had called to ask Zhang Mingjing about his recent life and studies, which moved him deeply. So he agreed to return to school next week and prepare for this year’s college entrance examination.

Yet, he now worried that with his intelligence having increased so much, he might accidentally score too high and arouse suspicion.

He seemed to forget that soon the sun would begin to decode, monsters would arrive one after another, and there would hardly be a college entrance exam at all this year!

When it came to school, Zhang Yidao and Xiao Nüxia had suddenly changed their attitude. They were now quite happy to see him return to his studies and refused to let him join them on exorcism jobs anymore.

“Come on! You’re trying to ditch me so soon, hoping to hog all the business for yourselves?” Zhang Mingjing grumbled.

“It’s just that you’ll be back in school soon, with a heavy workload, and you’ve sold a lot of merit these days, leaving you physically weak. Zhang Yidao just wants you to rest more,” Xiao Nüxia explained on Zhang Yidao’s behalf.

“Exactly! Besides, following us into the superstitious world offers no future. You should just go back to school and study hard!”

“Oh, really? Normally you call it the Daoist world, but today it’s suddenly the superstitious world?” Zhang Mingjing quipped. “You two are as fickle as the weather—first wind, then rain. It’s impossible to figure you out! Your tactics are truly underhanded.”

Zhang Yidao laughed awkwardly. “That’s because I can now pursue my dream of becoming an immortal myself. I don’t need you to fulfill it for me anymore, so you’re free!”

“Go away!” Zhang Mingjing was full of complaints, truly speechless.

If not for his family being so used to the supernatural, a child like Zhang Mingjing would have been driven to a psychological breakdown in any ordinary household!

Speaking of exorcisms, several clients had called in the past three days to make appointments, all recorded in the ledger.

Zhang Yidao and Xiao Nüxia, energized from a morning of martial arts practice, were eager to show off and prepared to head out for work, bringing their Daoist robes and tools along, even before lunch.

Zhang Mingjing wanted to grab his Daoist robes and tag along, but this time Zhang Yidao and Xiao Nüxia were determined to take the spotlight for themselves, hence their eager insistence that he “turn back from the brink.”

But Zhang Yidao continued to persuade, “Zhang Mingjing, you’ve made a fortune these past two days. There's no need for you to come. Xiao Nüxia and I truly possess real cultivation now, more than enough to handle those minor demons. You should let us enjoy the work. Your main duty is to study, get into Peking or Tsinghua University, and bring honor to the family. Your future will be bright!”

Hearing their tone, Zhang Mingjing realized they really wanted to leave him behind. He couldn’t help but shake his head with a sigh. “So quick to burn the bridge after crossing the river!”

Zhang Yidao continued earnestly, “If you come, how much room will be left for us to shine?”

“Unbelievable! In just three days, you two have grown this bold! All for the center stage, you’ve become arrogant. If you run into a powerful demon, you might bite off more than you can chew.”

But Zhang Yidao and Xiao Nüxia, brimming with confidence, dismissed his concerns and continued to dissuade him.

The more Zhang Mingjing listened, the less at ease he felt. He was afraid they’d underestimate the enemy and get bitten by a demon. So he insisted on coming along, reassuring them, “Don’t worry, I don’t need the money right now. You two can have all the pay this time; I’m just there to restore the demons to their true forms.”

Zhang Yidao and Xiao Nüxia remained firm, Zhang Yidao even growing a bit annoyed, “No way! Xiao Nüxia and I have been practicing Eagle Claw techniques these two days and can't wait to test our skills today. We can’t let you interfere!”

Unexpectedly, this gave Zhang Mingjing the perfect opening. He mocked, “Oh, really? If you’re so eager to kill, what’s the point of cultivating immortality? One must have a bit of compassion to walk the immortal path! Be careful you don’t squander all the merit you just bought by causing more harm. I don’t have much left to sell!”

Hearing this, Zhang Yidao and Xiao Nüxia’s faces flickered with dread, as if enlightenment suddenly dawned.

They exchanged solemn looks, realizing he had a point. How could they perform merit-damaging deeds right after buying merit?

After much back-and-forth, they finally agreed to Zhang Mingjing’s arrangement: they would take the pay and show off their skills for a bit of vanity, while Zhang Mingjing handled the actual exorcising of demons.

Why was Zhang Mingjing so insistent on going?

Besides worrying about them, it was because over the past three days, the Five-Dimensional Thought Model had further optimized his body, allowing his dantian and energy channels to hold even more energy. He was eager to face more so-called demons, so his lightsaber could absorb their energy and grow stronger.

Indeed, Zhang Yidao and Xiao Nüxia changed their usual style during the first exorcism job, flaunting their new martial skills and moves. They even coordinated, trading moves and exchanging glances.

Unfortunately, lacking a solid foundation in routine practice, their movements were stiff and awkward. What was worse, their cooperation was spur-of-the-moment, entirely unrehearsed, and they improvised as they pleased. The result was a disaster—a heap of seductive demon-like posturing, which they mistook for elegance, their faces full of smug self-satisfaction, while the client’s facial muscles twitched in discomfort.

The client probably wondered if they’d hired two demons rather than exorcists.

Zhang Mingjing secretly filmed the whole thing with his phone, mortified and wishing he could disappear.

Fortunately, his lightsaber, in the end, brought a touch of righteousness and restored the client’s trust.

Leaving the client’s house, Zhang Mingjing played back the footage for Zhang Yidao and Xiao Nüxia, unable to resist teasing, “If you keep messing around like this, you’ll scare the clients to death before you ever get rid of a demon! That’s a matter of life and death—you’d not only go to jail but also get charged with illegal business operations.”

To his surprise, while Zhang Mingjing was chiding them, the two began analyzing and soon started bickering.

“Zhang Yidao, your movements were too stiff. Watch, you should do it like this,” Xiao Nüxia said, demonstrating.

“Xiao Nüxia, your hip movements were too exaggerated, and your waist was all over the place—not to mention those unsightly extra bits. This is an exorcism, not a dance. Don’t do that next time.”

“Zhang Yidao, that was a set of boxing forms, but you danced it like an awkward shuffle.”

“Xiao Nüxia, that was a set of boxing forms, but you made it look like gutter oil.”

“What do you mean by that, Zhang Yidao?”

“Then what are you poking and pointing about?”

“You’re asking for it!” Finally, Xiao Nüxia’s temper flared. With her meridians fully open, her fiery slap left Zhang Yidao dizzy and dazed.

“All right, enough!” Zhang Mingjing hurried to intervene. “If you two can get into a fight over the aesthetics of your exorcism moves, at least it means your taste isn’t beyond saving. That alone is something to be thankful for! Just don’t do this again.”

“It’s all Zhang Yidao’s rotten idea. He set me up—what a humiliation!” Xiao Nüxia grumbled.

Zhang Mingjing didn’t even have to ask whose idea it was; he knew Xiao Nüxia always lacked judgment, especially with Zhang Yidao’s suggestions. She’d blindly follow at first, only to spot the flaws later, have a sudden awakening, and finally, settle accounts after the fact.

It was a cycle the two of them could never seem to break.

Alas! Even if Zhang Yidao made the same mistake at the same spot a hundred times, she’d follow him a hundred times, as if unable to escape fate.

“You two are truly a match made in heaven. My being born to you is nothing short of a cosmic marvel!” Zhang Mingjing shook his head, never imagining that his oddball parents would one day fight monsters at his side.