Chapter 139 Only You Know What Your Own Happiness Is

Listening to Cheng Xiaoyu's intensely literary and poetic words, Ma Guoli was consumed by a blazing jealousy. He thought about how much better it would be if he were the one on stage. He was quite confident in the songs he wrote; back at the Central Conservatory of Music, he had relied on a few sentimental campus folk ballads to attract numerous girls who threw themselves at him.

Yet right now, the unremarkable Cheng Xiaoyu had stepped onto the audition stage even before him, a formal intern. He also harbored a star's dream, but he felt his own appearance was only slightly above average and hardly handsome, though by any measure, he was still much better looking than the fat guy on stage. Moreover, he felt he possessed genuine talent. Watching Cheng Xiaoyu stand on stage carrying a battered guitar and drawing everyone's attention, while knowing that this fatty also associated with so many beauties, Ma Guoli felt his heart shattering into pieces. Consequently, he began silently cursing Cheng Xiaoyu, wishing for him to utterly bomb the performance.

In the audience, Planning Department Director Cao Danian, acting as a judge, watched the calm-faced Cheng Xiaoyu on stage with keen interest. Su Yuqi was the one who had approached him to recommend Cheng Xiaoyu for the audition. The three musical demos Cheng Xiaoyu had produced were originally handed to him. He had thought they were decent, but they did not fit the positioning and style of Su Yuqi's group, nor were they mainstream popular music of the current era, so he had simply shelved them.

Cao Danian also liked the young girl Su Yuqi very much, setting aside her background. Although Su Yuqi lacked youthful vibrancy, she was as sharp as ice and snow without being arrogant about her talent. The crucial point was that men are visual creatures, always showing special favor to pretty girls. However, when Su Yuqi came to him yesterday asking him to help recommend Cheng Xiaoyu for the audition, he had refused. But once Su Yuqi told him that Cheng Xiaoyu was the boss's son and her older brother, he no longer had any reason to refuse.

Sun Jingyao had finished shooting a promotional catalog for a fashion magazine in the morning and hurried over to the photography base. The photoshoot, which should have taken at least a full day, was rushed to completion before three o'clock due to her insistent demands. None of the studio staff had eaten lunch in order to rush the work, so Sun Jingyao had her assistant treat them to a lavish meal before hailing a cab to the company. Fortunately, when she arrived, the auditions had only just begun.

When Cheng Xiaoyu stood on the stage and said, "May this music accompany you through the hardest days. May you one day be able to tell your story with a smile. May sweet words find their rightful home, and may you not be lonely. May you be treated with gentle tenderness by time," she felt her face flush and her heart race. At the same time, she was grateful that Cheng Xiaoyu was still quite far from her, meaning he probably could not see the blush on her face. She repeated the phrase to herself several times in her mind, thinking that she must copy it onto a postcard later and take a picture to save on her phone. The lingering, poignant tenderness of those words almost melted her heart.

Cheng Xiaoyu slightly adjusted the position of the microphone. Pressing his hand against the guitar, he began strumming while humming softly, "Ah, ah, ah, ah..."

A voice that was clean yet tinged with a slight hoarseness echoed through the small theater, accompanied by a beautiful melody. Everyone could hear the fresh, natural feel of the shade of trees and the quiet youthfulness in the sunlight within the singing.

Ah-ah... on...

Spring is her favorite season
When the gentle breeze casually messes up her hair
She doesn't care about the hustle and bustle of the world around her
Thinking only of the changes within her own life
Fifteen minutes left until lunch break
From morning till night, things haven't been as good as imagined
A settled life does not necessarily mean happiness
She cannot forget the dreams she once held in her heart
She just turned twenty-two on July 3rd of the Gregorian calendar

Hearing this, Sun Jingyao knew instantly that this song was written for her. Because her birthday had just passed not long ago—it was July 3rd. She had spent this day, which did not seem all that significant, working alone in a foreign city. Passing by a cake shop, she had wanted to go in and buy a piece of cake for herself, only to be told by the clerk that they were already closed. She had turned away in silence, thinking she was being overly sentimental. Twenty-two years old—there was probably nothing worth commemorating anyway.

Just casting away textbooks to leave home and see the world
Yet discovering so many troubles waiting to be faced, oh-ah
She often longs to return to the year she was twelve
Just needing to study properly with a simple and worry-free life
She was like a bud full of hope

Autumn arrives all of a sudden
Though youth gives one the capital to be carefree
A romance ends after twenty-two days
Only to realize some feelings are not worth the gamble
The September weather is still a bit hot
She thinks if the bus doesn't come soon, she'll just walk a while
She begins to understand that waiting does not necessarily yield results
A person can still embark on the journey of their dreams alone
She just turned twenty-two on July 3rd of the Gregorian calendar
Just casting away textbooks to leave home and see the world
Yet discovering so many troubles waiting to be faced, oh-ah
She often yearns to return to the year she was twelve
Just needing to study properly with a simple and worry-free life

Hearing this, Sun Jingyao covered her face and wept. Although this was not a tear-jerking song in the slightest, although it was not a sentimental track at all, she simply felt that every single line struck a chord in her heart, that every single line spoke of her youth. This vague, lingering trace of gentle sorrow left her face covered in tears, completely forgetting that her makeup had run.

She has always been full of hope
Life occasionally leads one down an unfamiliar path
Like a map without markers
Don't let them tell you that you ought to be content
Only you know what your happiness is
She often longs to return to the year she was twelve
Just needing to study properly with a simple and worry-free life
She has smiled and thought about the future
Oh, she ought to find happiness
Such a simple dream
Has it been realized?

For a listener, a touching piece of music is a tunnel leading to the past. When you walk through that long, dark corridor and look back at the old days through the light, recalling those unforgettable moments, there remains a lingering, soft reflection. At this moment, Sun Jingyao felt that the final line—"She ought to find happiness. Such a simple dream, has it been realized?"—was so incredibly warm. It made her begin to feel glad that she had returned here, glad that she could wait for guidance in moments of hesitation and wandering.

Hearing the end and waiting for Cheng Xiaoyu to finish singing, Sun Jingyao quietly turned around and hid outside the door, taking out a tissue to wipe the tears from her face, and smiled faintly. Perhaps she had not cried this heartily in a long time; venting the gloom suppressed in her heart, she felt much more at ease inside. Then she turned back into the enthusiastically applauding small theater, cupped her hands around her mouth to let out a soft squeal, and began clapping frantically like a crazy fan, completely unconcerned about the odd glances from those around her.

She knew, of course, that what makes you drunk is not the alcohol, but a state of frustration; what makes you cry is not the song, but bottled-up emotions.

Projecting one's feelings onto scenery or objects is merely an outlet, after all, but she was still immensely grateful to Cheng Xiaoyu for giving her such an outlet.

Thus, she became his most loyal fan. Years later, when she accepted television interviews, she would still speak of this scene, calling it the most precious fragment of her life, and saying those tears were the most touching warmth she had ever known.

"In my life, I have met many people. They were like fireworks at my fingertips, flickering bright and dim, ultimately reduced to a trace of ash blown away by the wind. But Cheng Xiaoyu was different; he was like the Northern Star, illuminating my entire life."